Not all Americans:
• are fat
• like McDonald’s
• like meat
• drink coffee
• PouR THEIR TEA IN THE BOSTON HARBOR
• HAVE A PET EAGLE
Can we all just…appreciate that even though Caboose is ridiculous and delusional and incapable of making sense, he still has enough clarity to have REAL ACTUAL FEELINGS and make ACTUAL JOKES?
I mean, just this season, when he discovers that hostiles are heading straight for…
F-15C engines expanding and contracting.
you know, people ask me all the time, ‘what’s the story behind your url?’
(this is a lie. no one asks me that.)
but since i’ve got you all here, i’ll share with you the truth about ratchet: he loves to party
check out his original bio
he loves it
i apparently go to bird school
which is for birds
gODDAMNIT this post always getS TINY FUCKING BURSTS OF notes when will the carnage stop
okay but consider these
- 'oh my god im so sorry my dog usually doesnt jump up on people like this i have no idea what their deal is but also hey there'
- met while jumping into the same pile of freshly raked leaves in a park (alternatively, one jumps in and they met when no 2 kicks said pile of leaves)
- waiting behind you in line but ‘excuse you me did i just hear you talking shit about my favourite superhero there SON’
- 3am and the fire alarm in our apartment complex just went off let me lend you my jacket while we wait on the sidewalk
- it started as one game of ddr in a games acarde/convention and turned into a two hour long battle and i wont let you wiN
- 'it was raining so hard i wasnt paying attention as i ran into the side of your car/you/your umbrella but were both drenched now and also hey there'
- eating in the same diner every morning and the waitress ALWAYS mixes up our orders so why dont we just sit at the same table to save her the trouble
- well were both here to meet a mutual friend to hang out but they dropped out last second and this is awkward as shit huh
- 'im sorry but your headphones are so loud i can hear them from here and just what the crap do you think youre listening to thats so two thousand and late'
- 'wait, have we met before?' 'no, i think i wouldve remembered' just in any context just do it okay
- ghost hunters/haunted house/paranormal investigators au
- fLORIST AU
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
#tell your dad I said thanks for funding my lifestyle
(psssst! there’s a fanfic for this one too~ Revenge is so Sweet)
|—||Ron Funches (via lazybookreviews)|
Nicki Minaj - Anaconda
no really im serious nicki minaj repurposing a song about the male view of sexual climate into a destigmatized anthem of championing your own sexuality is the biggest thing to happen in the world of music in this century. im not joking this is the best song made in like hundreds of years